So.. I have failed my quest to defluff, in saying that I am yet to give up, and I have been thinking why I gave up. I also believe going it alone was basically made it destined for failure The first of many things was I was too enthusiastic and under prepared to do it, I think a little more mental prep could have helped. Two I was far to giving on what I was eating and how much I was eating of it. Three I seemed to make excuses for not either not doing exercise or eating crap. Four, and I feel as though this is one of the more compelling reasons, and you may say what you like about it, but I didn't care.... I felt as though there was no point. Don't get me wrong I really want to get healthy, But right now I feel as thought there is no point, I have very little self respect, therefore I have not want to help this body, because I hate it. I know that losing some weight will help me regain some of that self respect but its getting that which will be the toughest.
Trust me I am trying but there is just that part of me that is like whats the point... And that sucks..... So now begins the mental part of the 2nd take of defluffization, embracing who I am and beginning to show myself the respect that I deserve, from there I can work on the removal of the Kilos. I hope you all understand Thanks for reading -DJ |
These are thoughts and ideas for The Show Archives
February 2019
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